And I continue to write the love story..
Monday, August 30, 2010
I left the last piece of jigsaw to complete this puzzle
I don't mind if I disappoint my mom temporarily
just to prove her that my choice is the right one in coming days.
All the time,
I mostly go for what she wishes.
Following instructions blindly isn't a way to be fillial
and she doesn't appreciate at all.
Supposely,
I should have gone numb
but it seems my reflex reaction only grows stronger, no reduction.
Am I given a second chance to rethink, reconsider and rechoose,
or left the only last path to be taken ?
I shouldn't doubt about suitability,
I'm just comparing and weighing a better properity in future.
Becoming a doctor is to
help the poor, heal the sick and provide a better life for your parents.
Oh, rubbish.
What I want is the real thing that can bring me real happiness.
I have settled down my mood.
I hope the hidden answer can be revealed soon
so that I could settle down my mind.
Signing off;
Hze
11:59 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Friday, August 27, 2010
I refuse to be a princess
Oh, dear faithful readers and devoted followers :
Kindly informed that,
you're here in
And my second blog will be renamed as
My sincere apology on changing URLs again.
Please. I have reasons.
I think I can truly undertsand how Sze Ung feels
and why she keeps changing URL.
I used to keep changing URLs very often last time
until... my besties felt like killing me so much xP
then only I promised not to change again.
But then, there is always an exception.
First,
I have stopped believing that one day I will fully own my 100% freedom.
Second,
that 'disastrous revolution' really brings me a lot of disasters !!
I wasn't that supertitious.
But as you experienced more and more bad fortunes,
somehow you will start to 'pantang' on certain things ...
So,
better get rid of that inauspicious word la.
Third,
it will be a brand new journey in an all new environment to me,
and I don't want look back anymore.
These two bloggies mean a lot to me
as they collect every single pieces of my mood in life.
With these two newly URLs,
hopefully no more brokenheart.
Once again,
dear faithful readers and devoted followers :
please RElink and REfollow. Thank you.
Signing off;
Hze
10:29 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
To wherever fate takes me
No emo post for tonight, I promise.
Neither high nor low, but it's a kind of familiar one.
I guess that I must have gone numb.
September will be soon here, finally.
I know my besties must be worried sick about me.
What the hell actually can emo up Hazel until like that ?
Yeap, something much much worse than hell,
and I promise that I will share once we meet up.
I really malas to type out this long long story.
Alright, talk about something else tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I never dare to talk any bad about Twilight.
For I know,
my besties will definitely throw pebbles on me.
Maybe if they don't,
they will curse Harry Potter secretively xP
They said how good if can have a vampired boyfriend like Edward.
Huhh,
you really want a boyfriend who can live without food and sleep,
AND
appear beside your bed like ghost every night ar ??
Solemnly,
I don't find Edward charming,
besides his super brilliant driving skill !!
I do admire him,
driving with his eyes on Bella but not looking in fornt.
All the time,
I was wondering,
what makes Edward so attractive for him able to read people's mind,
and so, Alice who can see the future ?
I think, I know why then.
To wherever fate takes me,
to wherever moon appears in the starless night again.
Signing off;
Hze
10:51 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Justifying reasons why is an sbsolutely insane resolution to live by
You know why am I being so HEAD STRONG ?
Because I want to
LIVE HIGH, LIVE MIGHTY, and LIVE RIGHTEOUSLY.
Perhaps no one can truly understand how I feel ...
But if you ask Jason Mraz,
maybe he knows.
Like I say :
" Destroy what destroys you. "
No point leaving it to devastate you.
I'm only 20, not 40 lea,
how do I close one eye and leave another one opens ?!
No way, sorry.
I die also can't pretend to be kind for the others angelically
and torture myself innerly, in fact.
I don't love myself only,
but I love myself first then only I have the rights to love others.
Signing off;
Hze
10:35 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I hate fake dream seems to be so real.
Two hardest tests in life :
First,
the patience to wait for the right moment.
Second,
the courage to accept what you've waited comes nothing.
Signing off;
Hze
6:37 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Like a virgin, you are Madonna
I hope I have the courage to quit like I dare to risk bravely everytime.
Signing off;
Hze
6:03 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Can't I just leave this post titleless ?
=(
I'm actually have nothing to share now.
Maybe I just too used to come here automatically.
I miss my besties a lot, really a lot.
I was barely breathing,
thought has overcame this hypoxia,
but now feeling so suffocating.
If my sisters are here,
maybe it wouldn't be that worse.
I try to convince myself that
" I'm alone but I'm not lonely. "
Perhaps I'm really lonely now for I doubt on this statement.
Haih, dunno la !
Head wanna burst liao ~
If I gain weight, blame on my brain !!
Signing off;
Hze
11:49 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Monday, August 16, 2010
I guess I'm harder for the hardships that I had to face
Right here, right now.
I thought I would be mad this time.
In contrast,
I haven't been more sane than I'm now.
I stopped sighing and stopped crying.
For they seem so non-productive
and like two forms of energy-wasting actions.
I forgot since when people stopped asking me :
" How are you ? " ,
Instead, they asked :
" Are you ok ? "
And I used to answered :
" Ok-ok lo. "
But then I guess my recent answer for the past few days was :
" No. Very not ok. "
So now, if you ask me again,
I will answer unhesitatingly :
" OK. No problem. "
Well.
Thing seems has came to the end but it doesn't, meanwhile.
And I don't really own any better solution nor
have came out a comfirmed decision.
Meaning that what lie in fornt are still remained unwritten.
But I don't afraid and I don't worry.
I dunno why there's a sudden drastic change on what I think and how I feel.
People around me claim that I think positively.
I don't really agree all the time
for I thought because I was being too ignorant most of the time.
But after this incident, or perhaps a series of incidents;
I decided that I'm a positive person.
Through the years,
I'm holding over-strong principles and being so stubborn in my life.
These are the only two things able to make me suffer, I guess.
But then a thought newly develops at certain part of my brain saying that :
" One's sucess doesn't refer to how his or her dream finally comes true.
But it refers to whether the one lives high or not ? "
For further elaboration,
Are those people who have achieved goal and target really happy ?
What is the big deal if I can't realise my dream ?!
I have so much other things to be achieved as long as I'm happy with them.
Why am I making myself so miserably,
and mourning over regretness of life ?!
No point establishing meaningless challenges to torture myself right ?
For if I could live happily and people whom I love do so,
then I would be the winner right ?
Am I miraculously becoming less stubborn ?
Maybe I really hate enough
but then I'm still not giving up !
BMW X6 and Triple-storey, 7-rooms mansion are still on !
I'm just too tired drenching myself with my own tears.
I insist to stay happy for my every single second waking time
which is something called unchangeable stubborness
I really can't stand myself lurking in pool of emo-ness !
Lastly,
end of story and there will be a brand one soon
Signing off;
Hze
8:42 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Saturday, August 14, 2010
It would be yours if they only knew
I should have come here to blog earlier.
Never mind though it has been over for 2 hours and 23 minutes.
It is... was 13th, Friday --
so-called ' The Dark Friday ',
rare but special.
I wish I could cry out my lungs and scream out my heart now !
I know this coming Saturday and Sunday gonna be
the most terrible weekends that I ever have in my life.
I hate enough and have mercy on me please.
Signing off;
Hze
2:35 AM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Hope God forgive me for the sins that I'm about to commit
Before I turn in tonight,
I want to say :
" I want a turning point, not a dead end. "
Signing off;
Hze
2:14 AM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Saturday, August 7, 2010
OMG !!!
HOLY SHIT COW !
Today is 7th of August !!
Another 30 minutes later will be 8th ~~
Meaning ...
I LEFT only 3 MONTHS to stay in nineteen
T___T
Dear clock,
could you please kindly revert your needles
or just bring them forward to 20 years later ?
Signing off;
Hze
11:22 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
My legendary 100th post !!!
This post marks a milestone in my blogger career.
From November 2009 to now, August 2010 -
9 months; 36 weeks; 252 days,
here I am, updating my 100th post ^^
First and foremost,
I thank Blogger who really plays a main role in my life.
Like an open diary,
like a huge collection of my happiness, bitterness and freaky thoughts.
And to all my faithful readers and followers,
million thanks for being so supportive.
I know many of them READDDDD only and never leave me any tag =s
There're so many blogging tools out there,
but I still stick to my beloved Blogger because
it provides the simplest dashboard in which
an IT idiot like me can simply manage it without any trouble =D
In fact,
I have started to blog few years
and I really can't remember how many bloggies I had deleted before this =/
Until I heard Eileen;
yes, my most repectful, admirable Da Ge again.
She said :
" I rather leave it dead than delete it,
because I can't bear to delete those previous precious memories. "
My dearest besties change me a lot.
They regain my trust on friendship after I had been submerged in sorrow for 2 years.
If you observe carefully,
you will realise that girls outside are so much different from us.
Alright, my apology,
I should say :
we are so much different from girls outside xP
Birds of a feather flock together,
(Though I'm that rarest species but please, accept it,
we still belong to the same family and genus xD )
this makes us adore each other very much ^^
My mom dislikes me to blog.
Everytime she sees me blogging,
she will repeat the same sentence like a recorder :
" You really think that you can become a famous writer like J.K Rowling ar ?! "
=.=
Nevertheless,
I still continue to blog, blog and blog =]
Once again,
THANK YOU so much for people who love me and my love ones.
Hmm.. they are actually the same ones la =P
You know who you are as I confessed everywhere ;D
Lastly,
dun forget to stay tune @
100percent-freedomchaser & 360degree-disastrousrevolution
for more awesome stuffs from Hazel ^^
Signing off;
Hze =3
6:06 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like this ?
Psalm 121:1,2
I lift up my eyes to the hills --
Where does my help come from ?
My help comes from the LORD,
the maker of heaven and earth.
***
I can still remember how these few sentences inspire me
when I first got this little bookmark from Puan Gan.
Daddy says :
" I know women have the 6th sense,
but I have the 7th sense and
it tells me that you have 99.9% chances,
so what to worry about ? "
I know I shouldn't worry
but then I can't help and just worry :(
Maybe I have just being so ignorant most of the time,
this is why only THIS KIND of issue can attack my brain cells.
By the way,
I really HATE general practitioners !!!!!
Memang berlagak sangat,
what's so great of holding a 5 years MBBS then
only running a small clinic ?!
********
Amithabha Guayin Ma, Father Jesus Christ, Ya Allah Tuhanku
and other God of all religions in the world :
I'm still alive but I barely breathing,
just pray to the God that have been introduced to me.
Though I'm a free thought holder,
but I know You are somewhere watching what I do.
I believe You can see all the prices I have paid.
Please save me with Your holy hands.
Signing off;
Hze =3
9:43 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Cuz the flashbacks won't leave me alone
Thousand of things come across my mind ...
Slightly overwhelming,
extremely disturbing !!
You know,
I never like this situatuion,
so get me out from here.
********
I still have no any fond on Facebook
but it seems to be the only place where
I can gather all of my bestfriends' latest news.
Doesn't it sound sad to you ?
Going there makes me feel myself sucha a swallow person,
not going makes me feel so disconnecting with besties ...
It's another form of dilemma,
I know.
********
Ben said I sot zo (cantonese)
It has been months,
I found myself lost in laughters.
And then a nightmared Pharmacology Practical
brought me a little fun with three pals :
Jack Syen, Ben and Nicholas =)
I plan to boost up my Cantonese listening and speaking skill
since staying in KL now
but end up learning Cantonese bad sayings from them
xP
********
Stop haunting me and set me free,
will you ?
I plead you, really.
Signing off;
Hze =3
9:39 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances
Genuinely by Hazel Frances