From acute to chronic, it has been months.

I'm not sure all the memories I have within me are the reasons keeping sane,

or the main cause that dragging me into sorrow.

I cried again today, during Biochem Practical.

I dunno what's wrong, but it has been like that, lately.

3 more weeks to go back home,

why it is still so long way to be reached ??

Is the time slows down or is my heart the one getting slower and slower?

Lillian gonna really whack me this time, I know.

I think I should stop promising "this is the last last time."

But again and again, my 'last time' will be infinity.

Sorry for never stop bringing troubles

but my previous URL had some problems, really.

It becomes the good excuse reason for me to change an new URL =)

I hope I can live better for the remaining 20 days,

and live much much much better after 20 days.

Signing off;

Hze

No, my valentineS are not bloody, they are so much lovely =)

It's my 126th day in India.

Though 7000 miles away from home,

but I don't feel lonely.

From now onwards, every season, every celebration,

will be extra special for me ^^

Anyway, before entering to the body of this post,

I shall inform the world that -

My broadband has be suspended.

So, I really want to thanks Kathiga for lending me her broadband + lappie =)

Right now.

On the day I decided I have found the truest friends in my life,

who are my beloved sweethearts,

you can never understand how happy I was.

Not much people on the earth can really meet someone whom they treat sincerely

and treats you back truly.

For my case,

I don't only meet one, but about 10 of them at once.

The most beautiful thing I own.

I really heart them, each of everyone of them.

*Extra special to baobei KuanShuen, ChiChi, Lian and PP.

They are really more than ex-classmates, more than best friends,

more than sisters, and more than lots and lots to me.

Then I was thinking,

with them in my life,

I really don't mind if I have to keep a zero in romance record.

And then, this Mr. Lim Ka Ong came across my life.

For a relationship to begin,

you gonna meet the right one at the right time, on the right place.

And he is my right one undoubtably,

but I doubt on how right was that time and the venue.

Anyhow, it just started.

The luckiest thing happens to me.

Somehow I always think that God have been trying to put hard on me.

But He still adore me coz He give me them.

He make them appear and stay in my life.

He give me a 85 marks-father, a 60-marks mother and

a good friend like-brother.

Healso  injected this kind of attitude and personality into my blood.

In a short,

my current life should be qualified enough to be graded an A

(Of course I'm looking forward an A+++ la,

human beings are greedy in nature, this is what He create too.)

I feel so THANKFUL and GRATEFUL to have them in my life.

I know it's possible, please let these last forever.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all of the people I love.

By the way,

tomorrow is my daddy mamie's 21st Anniversary !!!

I hope my dad can care more and my mom can worry less.

All of all, I hope they always stay happy.

Signing off;

Hze

Long long long time hadn't watched drama already,

especially Taiwan series,

the last thing I will touch.

Dramas are so dramatic.

They are just capable to drive people insane xD

Like how I remember PP used to be 'sot' by dramas =P

Well, 

solitory life has ended, freedomed days are scattered.

Dawn is breaking soon,

time to turn in.

Tomorrow gonna return charger to Thenesa.

So regret that I didn't use my own charger to max when it was still ok.

Today I didn't study much,

but I don't feel bad xP

Signing off;

Hze



Oh ya, I come here again after a long long time ago.

Yes. Phone's charger has spoilt and now, laptop's one also spoilt. 

See, how awful is my life here.

Even more awaful, got money also can't get things fix!

No music, no movie, none of any entertainment,

that's my first term of dentistry.

I come here, for another monolog session.

Marks are all out.

Besides disappointment, it's still disappoinment left.

I don't feel disappointed to my own self.

I'm pretty much that I'm worth for a much more than these.

But I just can't question myself :

Or maybe I should ask:

I have been trying so hard to get back who I was.

I thought I was somewhere near there,

eventually I realise that I'm somehow never near there.

Perhaps I can never get back to those time anymore,

because clock turns in a clockwise direction,

never an anti-clockwise one.

The wrongest thing is how could I compete myself with the other?!

He is such a lousy person!

How could I put lyself to at least be in the same level as him ??!!

I should not. Not even academically.

Alright. Despite all of these,

then what else makes me leading sucha sorrow life?

I reckon that I care for too much.

The more I care, the higher the expectation I yearn for,

then I ended up couldn't perform to the max ?

I don't think the problem lies within me.

I'm always like that, it has been years,

and it didn't bring me any problem.

So the problem must be laid surrounding me.

I have came into a different world.

I need a new way to survive,

here doesn't practise those old ways that I'm used to.

I need a revolution in order to survive.

A sudden remind me of the time when I was Lower 6.

Yen Chuan asked me once:

"Are you afraid, so you choose to leave?"

Then my own dad asked me the same question no longer ago.

I wasn't afraid, and I'm not afraid.

My previous 5 years-girl school's life changes me so much.

I bet no one on the earth has such great influence.

Some of the time,

I'm just quite bad in adapting a co-sex environment.

In addition of bearing a STPM-background,

most of the time,

I was killed by my own ego.

I have slowed down my paces,

maybe the next thing is I should be more relaxing.

Maybe I shouldn't see things so serious.

Maybe I should talk to my mom when I get back.

But I definitely need to talk to my sweetheartsssss.

I have been missing them so much so much.

Here without family, no bestfriends, no boyfriend. =(

It's been a time for this mental battlefield to go on and off again and again,

and I have been crying over the phone to my dad more than 10 times since away from home.

Like my handphone and laptop's chargers,

this Hazel-brand charger also needs to be repaired soon.

How good if everything just get operated by depending on solar fuel.

It's really a time for me to go back home,

to eat with my dad, to walk with my brother,

to drive my metallic boyfriend, to eat food that I used to like,

the most important-

to meet up with people whom I love.

Then I will get back,

to give them hell in my second term.

Signing off;

Hze