Right here, right now.

I thought I would be mad this time.

In contrast,

I haven't been more sane than I'm now.

I stopped sighing and stopped crying.

For they seem so non-productive

and like two forms of energy-wasting actions.

I forgot since when people stopped asking me :

" How are you ? " ,

Instead, they asked :

" Are you ok ? "

And I used to answered :

" Ok-ok lo. "

But then I guess my recent answer for the past few days was :

" No. Very not ok. "

So now, if you ask me again,

I will answer unhesitatingly :

" OK. No problem. " 

Well.

Thing seems has came to the end but it doesn't, meanwhile.

And I don't really own any better solution nor

have came out a comfirmed decision.

Meaning that what lie in fornt are still remained unwritten.

But I don't afraid and I don't worry.

I dunno why there's a sudden drastic change on what I think and how I feel.

People around me claim that I think positively.

I don't really agree all the time

for I thought because I was being too ignorant most of the time.

But after this incident, or perhaps a series of incidents;

I decided that I'm a positive person.

Through the years,

I'm holding over-strong principles and being so stubborn in my life.

These are the only two things able to make me suffer, I guess.

But then a thought newly develops at certain part of my brain saying that :

" One's sucess doesn't refer to how his or her dream finally comes true.

But it refers to whether the one lives high or not ? "

For further elaboration,

Are those people who have achieved goal and target really happy ?

What is the big deal if I can't realise my dream ?!

I have so much other things to be achieved as long as I'm happy with them.

Why am I making myself so miserably,  

and mourning over regretness of life ?!

No point establishing meaningless challenges to torture myself right ?

For if I could live happily and people whom I love do so,

then I would be the winner right ?

Am I miraculously becoming less stubborn ?

Maybe I really hate enough

but then I'm still not giving up !

BMW X6 and Triple-storey, 7-rooms mansion are still on !

I'm just too tired drenching myself with my own tears.

I insist to stay happy for my every single second waking time

which is something called unchangeable stubborness

I really can't stand myself lurking in pool of emo-ness !

Lastly,

end of story and there will be a brand one soon

Signing off;

Hze

8:42 PM
Genuinely by Hazel Frances