Oh ya, I come here again after a long long time ago.

Yes. Phone's charger has spoilt and now, laptop's one also spoilt. 

See, how awful is my life here.

Even more awaful, got money also can't get things fix!

No music, no movie, none of any entertainment,

that's my first term of dentistry.

I come here, for another monolog session.

Marks are all out.

Besides disappointment, it's still disappoinment left.

I don't feel disappointed to my own self.

I'm pretty much that I'm worth for a much more than these.

But I just can't question myself :

Or maybe I should ask:

I have been trying so hard to get back who I was.

I thought I was somewhere near there,

eventually I realise that I'm somehow never near there.

Perhaps I can never get back to those time anymore,

because clock turns in a clockwise direction,

never an anti-clockwise one.

The wrongest thing is how could I compete myself with the other?!

He is such a lousy person!

How could I put lyself to at least be in the same level as him ??!!

I should not. Not even academically.

Alright. Despite all of these,

then what else makes me leading sucha sorrow life?

I reckon that I care for too much.

The more I care, the higher the expectation I yearn for,

then I ended up couldn't perform to the max ?

I don't think the problem lies within me.

I'm always like that, it has been years,

and it didn't bring me any problem.

So the problem must be laid surrounding me.

I have came into a different world.

I need a new way to survive,

here doesn't practise those old ways that I'm used to.

I need a revolution in order to survive.

A sudden remind me of the time when I was Lower 6.

Yen Chuan asked me once:

"Are you afraid, so you choose to leave?"

Then my own dad asked me the same question no longer ago.

I wasn't afraid, and I'm not afraid.

My previous 5 years-girl school's life changes me so much.

I bet no one on the earth has such great influence.

Some of the time,

I'm just quite bad in adapting a co-sex environment.

In addition of bearing a STPM-background,

most of the time,

I was killed by my own ego.

I have slowed down my paces,

maybe the next thing is I should be more relaxing.

Maybe I shouldn't see things so serious.

Maybe I should talk to my mom when I get back.

But I definitely need to talk to my sweetheartsssss.

I have been missing them so much so much.

Here without family, no bestfriends, no boyfriend. =(

It's been a time for this mental battlefield to go on and off again and again,

and I have been crying over the phone to my dad more than 10 times since away from home.

Like my handphone and laptop's chargers,

this Hazel-brand charger also needs to be repaired soon.

How good if everything just get operated by depending on solar fuel.

It's really a time for me to go back home,

to eat with my dad, to walk with my brother,

to drive my metallic boyfriend, to eat food that I used to like,

the most important-

to meet up with people whom I love.

Then I will get back,

to give them hell in my second term.

Signing off;

Hze